Loli-Secrets Day aka: ALL MY RAGE

Hello all! First official post and already it's full of rage. Part of lolita the fasion is the online communities. There are copious amounts of them but a few get frequented by the majority of lolitas. Lolita Secrets is one such community. It is effectively a lolita Post Secret, with the ability to comment (anonymously or not) on the secrets. There are a few premises I will probably have to explain as this entry progresses to give the people not familiar with lolita drama llamas a bit of background. On to the first rage!

I am so fucking tired of all this replica bs. Yes, we know it takes business away from brands. Oh wait, their clothes sell out anyway and you HAVE to get it second hand? Brands make a limited number of items, and if they all sell despite the replica issue how is it losing money? Brands don't make money off of second hand selling, should we try to boycott that too? What about other brands like h.naoto and Putumayo who don't sell out on everything? There aren't many, but replicas exist. If you are going to rage about replicas at least take a stance and rage against them ALL or NONE. The concept behind them stays the same, why should your answer change just because it's a less desirable brand?

Now there is only one secret to this effect and I don't quite rage. I believe the correct response is lol wut. Because brand is so limited in production most of lolita thrives through second hand selling/buying. Even lolitas who buy direct from various brand stores often resell to the community. Keeping the dresses circulating is almost a form of etiquette. You own a desired brand print but don't wear it often if at all. This print is many girls' dream dress, so instead of letting it sit unworn in your closed you resell it to give them the chance to own a dream piece. Now, the premise of the secret is stop comm sales greediness! A 3rd hand brand dress for 300 dollars? TOO MUCH MONEYZ!!! Except wait. It is in fantastic condition, of an older print and is ridiculously hard to find especially in that colorway. Let's pretend this is a stamp. There were only 200 printed. Of those 200, maybe 75 were printed in a certain color. Try to find one of those stamps in that color 4 years later. Will you pay printed postage price? Hell no, you would probably even pay more of a mark up than lolitas. Learn when it is appropriate to complain, seriously, Yes, used groti brand socks with piling issues are not worth 30 dollars. Puppet circus in red with no visible condition flaws for 700? Yes please!

Now the final piece of rage, and probably the most sincere. Part of me rages at these next two secrets because I know this girl personally and the negative implications are just not true. And the rest of me rages because when you let yourself be this petty who the fuck would want to say they know you. The first secret about my friend was posted with a pic of her in the Bahamas, a vacation she went on with her husband. Now, she is fairly well off. Her family has a decent amount of money, her husband is a dual owner of a post production auto parts supply and instillation in a northern suburb of Chicago. For those of you unfamiliar with Chicago, the north side is the one with all the money and even within the north side it is subdivided amongst less well off and more well off suburbs. The secret basically states the assumption that my friend has not earned any of her very comfortable life, even that others buy her all the lolita she owns and that she does not need to work. Yes, she has been gifted lolita. She also buys a good portion of it herself. She has a job working in a public library and is currently working on her masters of Library Science. She is self sufficient in her interests and life style. And so what if she got married "young"? She is 24, nearly the same age as I am, and got married last year. How is this young? Young is my sister who got married barely after turning 21. Young is a couple getting married out of high school. Waiting to get a college degree and marrying someone you love is not getting married "young". And though this person has a point in that her life is indeed very luxurious, both she and her husband work for it. They earn every piece of happiness they give themselves.

Friend rage part 2: This second secret is by far the most infantile and petty secret I have seen in a long time. Rather than explain it to you, here is the link. Chicago's lolita community is about 80 girls, give or take guests and returning lolis who now live somewhere else. It is utterly retarded to expect to have each one of those girls invited to a PRIVATE birthday party. She even capped the damn thing at 30. I doubt I could invite 20 people to a party because I don't know that many people well enough to want them there. Jesus fucking Christ, just because she didn't invite you does NOT mean you get to be a stupid, petty bitch about it. I dare YOU to invite all the Chicago girls the next time you have a birth day or celebratory event. Invite all 80 of them, find a place that can hold them, arrange times and make reservations. And if you left someone out, then you would be deserving of a secret like this. Hell, if she had done that I would agree with this secret.

But she didn't. She wanted a small-ish affair for her birthday of her closest friends. Yes, most of them are lolitas so there were photos involved. She is a fucking lifestyle lolita. Most of the people she knows wears it or at least has basic knowledge of it. That doesn't make an intimate event a meet-up, nor does it make her a bitch. Posting about it to EGL and Facebook doesn't make her an attention whore either. How would you feel if you were told that you couldn't post any lolita unless it was a specific meet-up? Does wanting to share your good times involving a fashion with the people who share your love of it make you pretentious? Or an attention whore?

And what is this bull shit about splintering the community? It's bitches like you that cause the issues. If you could step outside your petty jealousy and hate for ONE SECOND you would see how much she tries to be a part of every one's events. You would also notice this little thing called geography. It takes well over an hour to get from Lombard to Shamburg. I know you are from that area because there are two loli groups in Chicago. The north side lolis and the Shamburg area lolis. I am not saying there are two different communities, because there isn't. But assuming that the north side lolis could make it down for every event or that you could make it up there for every event is not just lacking in reasoning, it's plain stupid. What if one group only has two or three free hours? They see an event taking place in the other location but are unable to make it due to time. You would fault them for having their own little meet on the same day? There have been plenty of meets I have been unable to go to because of distance and time. Instead of whining I dressed up, found a loli friend who also couldn't go, and made an afternoon of it. The person splintering the community isn't her. It's the people like you who don't understand that not every one's lives mesh well. Not everyone can be everywhere, and sometimes they wish they could so they do their own thing to feel better. You make the sides, and you make the drama. Get over yourself and realize that she doesn't want anyone to kiss her ass. She just wants friends. The part that really sucks for you is that she is a genuinely kind and decent person. Apparently all you seem to be is petty and jealous and in no way someone I, or any other loli, would want to interact with. Congratulations for showing us the true lack of depth to your personality.

/end rage

Intro - That's right, we all have one.

Alrighty! So, I was chatting up a friend today about her blog and she comically said that I could start my own, it would probably be a one person GTFO. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that yeah, even if the content is never relevant or helpful having a place where I can vent away from the people that know me would be fantastic.

So for starters, some background info I suppose. I'm a female (derp) who was diagnosed very early on with severe Fibromyalgia. For those of you know what it is, I am deeply sorry that either you or someone you know has this condition. You have my empathy. For those of you who don't know, it is a condition which boils down to being in pain all the time. Not, omg most days but literally every day and every action hurts. Existing hurts, for me sometimes so badly that I become bedridden for a period of time. There are other things that go along with this but as this blog is about calling out everything that irks me, even myself at times, I think that should be sufficient to set a premise for the following statement.

There are days where I will be nice and days where I won't.

That does not mean that my opinions change, just how I deliver them. Here are some examples. Good day: Yeah I know that wanting to get something together and not having the organizer follow through sucks. Maybe you might try organizing something yourself?
Bad day: People suck. You know they can't do it right so do it yourself or stop bawing. The key here is that I really do believe that if you want an opinion or input, you don't want to be coddled with it. I will say what I believe to be the most beneficial thing, whether or not it is agreed with.

Second major aspect of me that will effect this blog is this: I am a Lolita, or at least trying to be. No this is not another Loli-blog, but yes I will voice my opinions on various things loli. I am new so those opinions may be based on incorrect information or lack of information. If it comes to my attention, I may revise my opinion if it is warranted. Keep in mind, everything here will be OPINION. This does not make what I say true, though you may agree or disagree at your pleasure. This is not for the reader, it is to give me a place to vent my frustrations or joys as the case may be. You have officially been warned.